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I think I have been reading too many magazine quizzes and too many relationship books for my own good.

All of them pretty much say that the woman shouldn’t ever be the one to say “I Love You” first.

It is like the “kiss of death.” While I understand the advice of not jumping the gun, as we women are supposed to be “more emotional,” I am in a relationship now where there is a lot of “hinting” around it going on and it is really tempting to “come out and say it.” What does a guy think about the age old question?

If the woman makes this “big move” first, does it make a guy squirm…or run?

Generally speaking, I think that the person who doesn’t think in terms of someone having power in a relationship probably will be the one who ends up having the so-called power.

Reason being, if you think in terms of having the power in the relationship, you’re going to be making “power plays” and doing all sorts of screwy and weird stuff to try and protect yourself from losing this imagined power. As a result, the guy will be weirded out and he’ll distance himself and put up emotional and mental barriers to protect himself from manipulation.

I agree about looking at the relationship as a whole, but i dont think it matters who says i love you first, because Eric has a point ; saying i love you means something different for every guy, as it means something different for every girl. Apparently people didn’t get told they were loved as a child…otherwise there wouldn’t be unhealthy advise. after reading this I realised most guys who are really in it for real, don’t “say” love out loud but instead they “do” it everyday, right under our noses.

But if you know how you feel about someone, at the end of the day i think they deserve to know. I don’t see what the big deal is when someone says I love you. I’ve been so focused with the fact that he never ever says ILY but now i realised all those little stuffs he did tht actually mean big…

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If he had said it because he felt obligated too, then it wouldnt of been real to me.Besides, the relationship as a whole, i could tell he loved me even though he never said it.Actions are louder than words and if you guys treats you right and you feel that love then, whether he says it or not, you just know.Beyond that, if you say it first, you’ll lose your chance of ever finding out when he would have said it.My feeling is that you should let him say it first.

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